


Apprehension

by 8NightLight8



Series: My Demons and Your Lullaby [6]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Angst, But a hint of fluff also, Emotional Baggage, Father-Son Relationship, Irondad, Late Night Conversations, Nightmares, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Rain, Steve and Tony reunite, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony and Peter are on the run, Young Peter Parker, spiderson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-03
Updated: 2018-09-03
Packaged: 2019-07-06 13:50:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15887319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/8NightLight8/pseuds/8NightLight8
Summary: Tony wished he could have known the woman who has left such an intense mark on Peter’s life. He would have thanked her for taking care of the young boy, after she had just finished college. He would have apologised and he would have asked for forgiveness. But his son’s aunt wasn’t here now. Peter was. And nineteen other kids were, training their lives away under Ross. He couldn’t help them all. Couldn’t protect them all from the world’s injustice. He had to choose. And he knew that the boy won’t let himself get chosen this time.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is a part of a series. In order to understand what is going on you must read the previous parts… So off you go ;)

It was drizzling. Small, colourful drops were gliding up the Audi’s front window, blissfully unaware of the boy who was watching them as the car sped farther and farther from the centre of New York. Peter always though that there was something beautiful in the rain. In the way the drops of water glistened when they fell on the ground or in the way that they managed to capture the shades of all of the surrounding lights. Observing this natural phenomenon usually seemed to calm him, but it did nothing to help ease the tension in the vehicle now.

The muffled lyrics of the ACDC’s songs were the only words present in the car since they started driving. Sure, Tony’s lips formed a tight annoyed line, when the boy opened the doors of the passenger’s seat and climbed in, but he didn’t comment on the fact that Peter wasn’t twelve yet. The air seemed so filled with their conflicting thoughts that it was almost electric and Peter couldn’t remember the last time he had felt so alone, but even feeling miserable came at a price, the boy knew now. At the price of nineteen young lives, the owners of which probably didn’t have a father to be disgusted with. 

A stabbing pain shot through his heart and his palm squeezed the diamond locket immediately after the thought entered his mind.  He found himself wanting to dismiss it, wanting to exterminate it completely, because this was _Tony_. And Tony was _his dad_ and his dad was the most amazing person on the planet… But he couldn’t. He couldn’t because the thought was telling the truth. He _was_ disgusted with his father and he was angry and disappointed too… But that didn’t mean that his love for the man disappeared. Peter glanced at Tony, who was currently concentrated on the road ahead of them, out of the corner of his eyes. He had a feeling he will have to live with all of these emotions for a while so he should learn how to deal with them sooner rather than later. They were on the run after all and they only had about sixteen hours left.

It was hard to imagine what the penthouse will look like after their time runs out, draped with FBI ribbons and invaded with strangers. He was almost glad he trashed his room now, hating the idea of unknown hands rummaging through it while it still looked like home. They will probably turn a few floors around and Peter expected nothing less of them, but they were fools if they actually believed that they will find something. The boy’s dad had more than a week to come up with a plan and their new public announcement should be broadcast before Ross will even have his men enter the Tower. Everything was precisely calculated and after watching Tony work in the lab for six years, Peter knew that his math never faltered.

The only thing the boy really worried about was the letters. His dad and him left them arranged neatly on the their dining table, with envelopes turned downwards so that the names they had written on them almost shone from the paper: Ned, Happy, Uncle Rhodey, The Interns, The Professors, Bree… And Hap and Pepper and Rhodey again. Will Ross actually let their addressees read them after skimming over them himself? Peter wasn’t sure. Even he would be pretty angry if he would have just spent 28 hours running after mostly planted and fake clues. By the time the Secretary of State and his team will finally come to the conclusion that it was Tony who anonymously released the documents, they will probably be ready to burn the whole of Stark Industries to the ground… His dad believed that the letters will at least be used in the questionings, however. And the boy decided to go with hope.

A sudden screech was what pulled Peter from his thoughts and made him cover his sensitive ears instinctively, but the sound ended as quickly as it began and a moment later he was already able to lean back in his seat again while he listened to his father’s road raging with a barely hidden smile. 

“You okay?” The man turned to him the second he calmed down a bit and the boy managed to pull himself together again just in time to give him a short, cold nod.

“Fine.”

The drove in silence again for a bit, before Peter had enough of it.

“You should tell me about them,” he said, making the annoyance clear in his voice after his Tony just raised a confused eyebrow at him. “ _The Avengers_.”

His dad swallowed hard. “Um… What do you… What do you wanna know?”

“Anything?” Peter’s words were softer now.

“Well… Um… They are far smarter than me for sure, at least when it comes to politics and they are good people even if they do mess up from time to time.” He paused for a moment, but then saw the expectant look on his son’s face and continued. “Steve is really old and he has no idea how technology works. Bruce is a genius, with seven PhD’s. Some believe he is dead, but I know he is just lost in space at the moment. Clint has three kids and a far better game of dad jokes that I will ever have. Thor is an alien God. He returned home after Ultron. Sam is an amazing pilot. Vision is basically a walking computer. Wanda is extremely powerful and Natasha… Natasha just has a lot of secrets.”

“Like the one I have?”

“Worse.” He caught the boy’s eyes and quickly elaborated. “Her heart is in the right place, thought.”

The quiet sound of rain dripping died down when the car entered the tunnel. Peter slipped a little further down his seat and narrowed his eyes until his surroundings grew blurry, finding comfort in the mix of colours. In moments like these nothing needed to be explained or discovered. Everything just _was_. Tony once told him that he never ever wanted to know everything and by the time he turned eight, Peter understood.

There was a certain beauty in not knowing. When he was younger the boy was fascinated by optical illusions. He spent hours trying to pinpoint why they occurred and how they affected him, but once he found his answers the illusions disappeared and he was only left with science. When he destroyed the illusion that his dad created, all he could feel was pain. And when the world will learn about the truth behind his illusion, he might finally fall into pieces… So he probably only had about sixteen hours left.

“We don’t have to do this, you know?” Tony chimed in from the driver’s seat, making Peter once again ask himself if his dad could be psychic. “We can find another way…”

“And let Ross tell everyone?” The boy snorted. “No thanks. I would still rather they hear it from you.”

It took a man a while to reply and Peter continued to stubbornly glare out of the side window. They have been driving on the local roads for a while now, and the boy could see a ratty industrial hall in the distance.

“It’s just… You will come to me right, if you will need someone to talk about it?” His dad’s words were hesitant. There was worry behind them, but also fear. Fear of rejection.

The weight resting on the boy’s heart doubled and he had to force his eyes to stay focused on the concrete building. He tried to keep his voice quiet, cold, but failed miserably. “Sure.”

A familiar hand landed gently on his shoulder and just like before all of this happened it _grounded him._ It wrapped him in warmth and peace and safety…. And then it was gone. The car took a turn. Its lights illuminated the never ending rows of wrecked vehicles. They have arrived.


	2. Chapter 2

The wet stones grated loudly beneath Tony’s feet as Peter and he walked through the humongous car graveyard, both carrying their backpacks and a few travel bags, which were practically bursting at their seams. It was hard to pack when they didn’t know exactly where they were going and when most of their success relied on electronics. The man could always create new pieces, but not in the time they had left. Not if he wanted to build an alliance as well.

 _Yeah_ , Tony though, his back aching under the weight of his portable lab equipment, _things will only get more difficult from here._ He lifted his flashlight higher, hoping to be able to see a little further, but its beam of light kept disappearing in the moonless darkness. He could almost feel Peter shaking as he listened to his careful, uneven steps and wished at least for the stars to peak from under the clouds desperately. Despite his sensitive eyes, the kid has never been a fan of the dark. The door to his room was always left open ajar in order for F.R.I.D.A.Y.’s night mode lighting to be able to illuminate his shelves from the living room and taking a stroll through an abandoned industrial zone right before midnight, when he couldn’t even fully trust his dad, was probably a scene from one of his son’s nightmares.

Pete has been doing well considering. Almost too well or at least well enough for Tony to keep searching for any signs of trouble, but to constantly come up blank. He wondered if it was denial and let pain and self-anger rush through him again. Who does this? Who actually does something like this to a person they love? To their child?! It is how low he has fallen. In order to ease his guilt, he will be forced to reveal Peter’s darkest secret. A secret which has been haunting him since the day Tony first wrapped him in his arms. May. Even the name of the month seemed to bear a deeper meaning. Not wanting to recite it was what gained the boy his one and only F and to this day, he still preferred to draw flowers instead of writing it down next to the number of the day, when he needed to date one of his projects.

Tony wished he could have known the woman who has left such an intense mark on Peter’s life. He would have asked her if he was doing it right or if he was too selfish. He would have thanked her for taking care of the young boy, after she had just finished college. He would have apologised and he would have asked for forgiveness. But his son’s aunt wasn’t here now. Peter was. And nineteen other kids were, training their lives away under Ross. He couldn’t help them all. Couldn’t protect them all from the world’s injustice. He had to choose. And he knew that the boy won’t let himself get chosen this time.

The watch on the man’s wrist beeped and made him jump slightly as it pulled him from his thoughts. Fifteen hours. They had fifteen hours to go now. They needed to move. A set of reflectors came to life a few hundred yards ahead and Tony smiled. It was time to finally face the music.

***

The amount of worries in Tony’s head seemed to double with every step he took. They were right under the reflectors’ beams now and he didn’t like that at all. Peter was way too vulnerable when blinded and everything was starting to feel a bit too much like a death sentence. But they didn’t have any other choice than to keep making their way towards the hovercraft cautiously. After all, this was all about trust.

A small hand grabbed his wrist tightly and brought him to a halt. He turned to look at the boy who somehow managed to know where exactly his dad was located even with his eyes closed tight, before stepping right in front of him to shield him from the brightness. He waited a few second for Peter’s gaze to find his before speaking.

“How many?”

“Two.”

Tony nodded curtly. He could deal with two. 

“Just stay behind me, all right?”

Peter’s grip on his arm loosened and yet the boy didn’t let go immediately, but proceeded to hold his dad’s palm for a few moments granting both himself and the man some much needed comfort. Tony’s heart melted a bit at the action although the emotion grew bittersweet when he realised that Peter would have probably done that earlier if it wasn’t for his dad’s now revealed secret.

They continued to move closer to the vehicle slowly until the reflectors switched themselves off with a loud click and they found themselves in a company of no other than Steve Rogers.

The Steve Rogers who looked at least a little more his age with his newly grown beard and a less strict haircut. The Steve Rogers who barely stopped himself from killing Tony the last time he saw him. The Steve Rogers who wrote letters and sent his old friends flip phones. The Captain America who saw the accords for exactly what they were. The soldier who was right about everything even all those years ago. The man that Tony had to learn how to trust again. Not just with himself, but with Peter also. And the person who seemed to be frozen on the spot now, while he observed the dad with eyes wide.

 His face was a mystery, emotions spreading through it like wildfire and although he had opened his mouth multiple times, nothing came out of him until Peter’s sneaker bumped against a stone. He tensed then, relaxed again and offered Tony his hand with a swallow.

 “It’s- It’s nice to see you again Tony.”

 “Yeah.” The man accepted the handshake. “Thank you for helping us out.”

 Rogers smiled. A friendly smile. The one Tony was used to. “I said I will be there, right?”

 “R-Right.” Tony crossed his arms behind his back in order to hide his tremors from his former teammate, taken aback by the generosity the man kept showing. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go down. He didn’t tell Cap what he has done when they talked on the phone, but surely he knew by now?  He should be furious with him, aggressive even. 

 And yet Steve only glanced at him warily when he turned to bow his head at Peter, with the same hesitant smile still clear upon his features. “It’s good to meet you kid.”

 Tony half expected the boy to go rigid, but he only straightened his posture a bit and kept his eyes focused on the soldier in front of him while he continued to play with the string of his hoodie. “You too,” he said. And that was that.

 ***

The craft was made of Vibranium, the man learned after listening to how the echo of his knock spread through the black interior. A lot of Vibranium. So Africa, that’s where they were going. He hoped that Peter packed enough summer clothes.

“Let me take some of that.” Sam Wilson’s voice made him jump and turn around to look for his kid in panic, but the man in front of him just shrugged an ‘your back must be killing you’ before easing a travel bag from his shoulder. They followed him and Cap to a storage room and dumped all of their stuff there, with Steve helpfully pointing out some sleeping bunks as they passed them. But Tony didn’t feel tired at all and by the deadly look Peter sent him, he knew better than to tell him to go to bed, even if he could see that he was desperately trying to hide his occasional yawns.

They all took their seats at the big table standing just behind the pilot and watched the car graveyard grow smaller and smaller as Sam brought the flying vehicle into the air with ease. The scenery beneath them disappeared when they reached the grey clouds, however, and the boy pulled a portable designing station from his pocket, telling his dad in his own way that it was time to talk.

He always used to work when he accompanied Tony on one of his business meetings, but somehow still managed to catch every said word. A year ago, when the man asked him about it he even revealed that the simple actions helped him focus.

As a small, interactive 3D projection of the robot Peter was working on arose from the glasslike surface, Tony transferred his attention to the soldier sitting across from them.

“How have the others been? Good?”

“Good,” Steve replied and then smirked a little. “Bored out of their minds, though, so thank God that you finally decided to cause some trouble.”

Tony’s eyes narrowed when he frowned. “I guess some of them still won’t be too happy to see me, will they?”

“No…” Cap’s face grew solemn immediately. “No, I guess they won’t be.”

The man nodded. “Care to give me a list?”

Steve sighed. “It’s… It’s Nat mainly. All of this hit too close to home with her, but Clint and Wanda aren’t too fond of you at the moment either. I tried telling them that you probably had a reason for waiting so long, but they just wouldn’t listen.”

“And what do you think?” Tony finally jumped to the point, studying Roger’s expression carefully.

“Well…  You are doing the right thing now, aren’t you?”

The words caused the dad to steal a quick glance at Peter who seemed to have dismantled and reassembled the projected robot’s right arm for the third time in a few minutes all the while trying hard to keep his heavy eyelids from closing.

Steve followed Tony’s gaze and stared at both of them in thought, before continuing. “So what’s the game then?”

“A public campaign?” The man still hated how weak his idea sounded. “Get the people to un-hate me, show them that we are working together and against what the government is doing. Hell, we are gonna have to overthrow every argument they come up with, offer a better solution… Move the numbers until they can’t take the pressure anymore.”

“And will it work?”

Tony’s mind wandered to all the things he has lost for this cause already. To all the people he has hurt and to those that he still had to… And all he could say was “It must.”


	3. Chapter 3

Peter woke up with a gasp and sat quickly, only for the pain to shoot trough his forehead. It was dark, cold and the ceiling was very low. These were the first things that the boy noticed, while screams and white rooms still reverberated through his subconscious. He needed to get out. His fingers trembled in time with his accelerated heartbeat as he felt around the small rectangular space, until they brushed against a wall that was undulated, grabbed the fabric it was made of and pulled it aside.

A blinding light hit him suddenly, causing him to shield his eyes when he looked around. He was in a sleeping bunk, he a realised. On a hovercraft that seemed to be flying across the ocean. The events of last night caught up with him quickly. The car ride, his dad, Captain America and the Falcon… Something fell off the boy when he bent his legs and he looked at the blanket-like object curiously, still feeling pretty muddled. It was Tony’s jacket. A bit wrinkled, but still familiar and warm. Peter wrapped it around his shoulders immediately.

He climbed out of the bunk slowly, carefully, but still scared himself with his noisy landing. Something mumbled on his right and his body tensed as he turned around. His fingers searched for the web-shooters he didn’t have on him, yet stilled when he realised who was sitting in front of him. His dad sat with his back pressed against the cold surface of the vehicle, not far from where Peter has been sleeping. His arms were crossed on his knees that were pulled close to his body and supported his head, while his chest rose with soft, even breaths.

Fondness flew through the boy at the simplicity of the scene that held such importance to him. He debated whether to return the jacket he was wearing to its owner, but Tony’s palms were warm and he reckoned that he should stick with whatever brought him comfort if he wanted to calm himself down completely. He left his father to the much needed rest he was getting and walked to the narrow window to observe the thousands and thousands of waves which swung beneath, trying to think about anything but his tortuous nightmare.

He should have expected it really, with everything that he has learned, but seeing nineteen young people rage in their cells, right after the whole world accused him of being a murderer was still a difficult thing to handle… Especially because everything that he experienced was true. The lives he unknowingly ruined were a part of his past now too, not only his present. They mixed into peacefully evenings in the penthouse with Tony, into their holidays and even into his playdates with Ned. They were a stain that couldn’t be erased. He could do something to stop the infamous program now, though. And he wanted to help. Even if he was terrified.

He put the jacket on properly, after a shiver ran though him. The sleeves were far too long for him, but he gathered them quickly and slipped his arms in, not caring that the end of the garment reached his lower thighs. Something jingled in the inner pocket and he smiled at the USB’s he took out of it before zipping the zipper. F.R.I.D.A.Y. was written on the first in his dad’s familiar writing, but the other was what brought the boy even more joy. The red key. Their photo album. Tony’s equivalent of his locket.

 _Was it worth it?_ An unwelcome thought whispered in his mind and erased his smile. _Was all that Tony did worth it for a bunch of tainted memories?_

And that’s when Peter knew it was high time to go exploring.

***

He found Steve Rogers observing the waves while he sat at the table with a mug. It was a strange sight for the boy to comprehend, since almost all of the pictures he saw of the man before were taken on the battlefield and now, when he was actually in front of him, he was enjoying the calm of the morning in sweat pants. There was a certain depth in his eyes, Peter noticed, before all of the memories and thoughts which were previously swirling in Rogers’s eyes got swept behind a curtain and the soldier wished him a good morning with a smile.

“I would offer you breakfast”, he started, apologetic. “But coffee seems to be the only thing on board.”

“It’s okay, dad packed us sandwiches.” Peter replied and noted how the man’s eyes became even brighter for a second, before he cautiously took a seat on the other side of the table.

Peter didn’t trust Steve Rogers. Not fully. Sure, he was a superhero and an Avenger and he did help them like Tony said he would… But he had hurt his dad. Badly.

The boy still hadn’t figured out exactly what happened in Siberia. He had read some theories on the internet, but none of them seemed compatible with the effects the events there left on Tony. Steve Rogers betraying his dad? That was pretty possible. But Steve Rogers revealing that he was in a long term relationship with his murderous best friend Bucky wouldn’t cause Tony to freak out while making snow angels. And Steve Rogers actually being an undercover alien spy? That was just absurd!

The way to the truth was clear to Peter than and yet he couldn’t ask his dad. Not when he knew all too well what reliving certain scenes could do to a person. So he stopped digging. But he never forgot.

When a sudden, piercing blue light caught his attention the boy winced, before realizing that its source was actually his portable designer station, which responded to his voice. The newest version of his E-moji model stared at him now. And it was missing an arm. The boy didn’t even know when he started working. The world of physics, math and computer codes was like a safe haven. A place his darker thoughts could never reach.  But less than a minute after he entered it a voice forced him back into the flying vehicle again.

“What are you working on?” Captain America asked him curiously as he stared at the three-dimensional projection in awe.

Peter tilted his head a bit and narrowed his eyes in suspect. “You didn’t seem interested in what I was doing at all yesterday.”

“Well there was a certain someone who let me know exactly what was going to happen if I overstepped my boundaries…”

The boy copied the soldier’s expression and grinned. “Sounds like my dad.” He paused and looked at the genuine wonder in Steve’s eyes before he jumped to the explanation. “It’s an improved model of my E-moji. I am trying to create a robot who will be able to understand human emotions completely and respond to them in the most suitable way. There are a lot of algorithms for it, especially since people can hide their emotions too, but I am also trying to get him to learn and adapt to the personal tells of its owner.”

“That’s… Impressive.” The soldier seemed almost lost for words, but Peter could see a bit of fond amusement in his eyes also.

“Yeah. Dad already did a bit of that with F.R.I.D.A.Y., but I am trying to go more in depth here, you know. Focus on the details. My teacher says that robots like this could one day become household members. They could check on the family’s wellbeing as well as offer company and help for the elderly… And if I somehow manage to program them to be able to pick up on some warning signs for mental illnesses, they could actually save lives…”

“But they would never be able to become like people right? They could never turn out to be like Ultron?” Steve sounded a bit concerned now.

Peter shook his head. “As far as the internet goes, Ultron was an alien artificial intelligence system. It was so advanced that it was able to feel from the beginning. Our technology can’t do that. We can’t create a robot with emotions, just the ones who can imitate some. And you have to write them all in their program. While putting in anger would probably be unwise, the robot still couldn’t do anything to hurt or scare a person if that would not be specifically written in their coding.”

The man looked at him in confusion, but as soon as he spoke, Peter figured out that he had focused on a completely different point. “Your dad never told you about Ultron?”

“He never mentioned any of it.” _Any of you_ Peter’s mind added.

Steve’s face fell and the hovercraft got wrapped in silence neither the sadness nor the screaming guilt in the man’s eyes could break.

“He is not gonna be there, right?” Peter whispered after a few moments, concerned. “Your friend. He is not gonna be where we are going?”

Rogers’s voice was quiet and broken.

“He is.”

**Author's Note:**

> Wooow, this is the longest part of the series yet! Please let me know what you thought of it in the comments or come talk to me on Tumblr, my URL is 8night-light8. <3


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